Dilema

Too much things spiraling inside my head tonight to put me to sleep. Perhaps of the aftershock of basking in the Hunger Games trailer's awesomeness might contribute some in this equation, but this doesn't usually happen. Sleep comes naturally for me. Perhaps too naturally

Why is it so easy to make peace with anyone else, but with myself?

I know I'm inclined to judge myself too severely. But I'm immensely flawed to begin with anyway. Sometimes I wonder why am I thrusted upon all these responsibilities, that seem to be too far within my reach and abilities. These responsibilities involve the very future of the very people I care most about in the world (in both states of being).

Initially I came to the conclusion to improve myself first, more than anyone else, then only I'd sought out to help them to come to their senses. Unfortunately, it seem to take a much longer time than I anticipated. And as it seem to be happening in a very slow pace, I'm starting to think if it really happened at all.

Maybe constantly improving myself and trying to help others should go hand in hand. But I don't know if I can do that.

Ya Allah.

Verily Allah altereth not that which is with a people until they alter that which is with themselves. (Verse 11 of Surah Al-Rad)

* Edited:

A few months later. I found this. Mashaallah :) 

"Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)"